To Have And To Hold?

Hey Guys!
How's your Friday going? I had a really long nap which is why I'm posting at this time, I think I'll say my Friday is going wonderfully wellπŸ˜‰

So some days ago at work, we were discussing about some particular marriage cases, ( this actually contributes a large percentage of cases we receive every week) and I didn't know when I brought out my pen and book and started taking notes, I actually mentally laughed at myself.

One woman came and said she wanted a divorce after just being married for 8 months. We were shocked but it's obviously not our business, so we told her that Our Commission cannot dissolve the marriage and that it's the court's duty but if the man had been abusing her in any way then, we would be able to come in.

The person who was interrogating her asked her why she wanted the divorce?
She said it was based on infertility on the side of the man. He didn't say till they got married and he'd had the problem for some years now. Madam said she's not getting any younger and she wants to convieve before menopause comes knocking so, she wants out.

That's the first story.

The second one is that a woman laid a complaint about her husband on the grounds of infidelity. The thing is that this man is very rich and so, the woman lacks absolutely nothing (you should see the car she drives). This man also claims to respect and love his wife but he said that he can't just stop carrying girls around.
He also said that one of the reasons he can't stop is because the woman polices him all around, gives him numerous missed calls, goes around every joint looking for him. His point is that the woman is the one driving him to cheat.

All these stories just let me to the question "why exactly do people get married? " Some weeks back Thonia of also blogged about it and she raised some valid points. You can check it HERE

I couldn't help but think though, these women coming to report on daily basis at one point in time, were in good places with their spouses but, all of a sudden they want out. What could have gone wrong?
I remember one woman crying and saying that she hates her husband and can never forgive him to his face!
I won't lie, I get frightened when I see some of these things but my assurance is that I know that my tomorrow will be alright.

Love is a beautiful thing and I know spending the rest of your life with someone who you love, care about and would do almost anything for is pretty amazing too. These days though, i think love alone can't cut it. Prayer, Communication, Respect, Trust, Maturity, Self control, etc. are things that need to be well incoporated into marriage for it to work properly, I mean it's a forever thing.

Most girls dream of a beautiful wedding with the man of their dreams, yes it's a good thing, but thinking that man will just waltz into your life like that without any work on your side is a mere fantasy. Wake up!
Marriage is a wonderful institution that was created by God, so therefore when you decide to do things without the creator of this institution, you might be wasting your time.

 For you to really Have and Hold down this fort, you need to be willing to do some work. Like my dad will say "no be moi-moi".

One other thing I think it's important is listening and obeying your parents when it comes to the choice of partners. My Dad is always singing it to me that if he tells me that this is not the right person for me, he knows what he is saying, but if I now go ahead and do my own and anything happens I should better not come back and make noise. Me I will just laugh but deep down I'm taking notes.

One thing you cannot rule out in marriage is the blessings of your parents. I have seen enough of proof that without their blessings or when you decide not to listen to them , there can be serious consequences.

There you have it Ladies and Gents, but as you know this is just what Mide thinks.
Now what do you think about this thing called Marriage? I would love to know.



  1. Marriage is damm a shit of a burden. Cnt believe am goin to go thrru that. U neva get a perfect spouse but with tolerance and communication ,love and marriage becomes a beautiful thing

    1. Lol, I wouldn't call it a burden though but like you said with communication, love and tolerance it is a beautiful thing. I pray you find the right person for you☺
      Thanks for reading.

  2. Hmm.. Ah! Mide you're trying ooo. What an amazing piece to read on a boring Friday evening.

    First off, marriage is an agreement made by two partners (a male & female) of different parents, different cultural/historical background, birth conditions, different social upbringing.

    Hence, This duos must have in one way or the other agreed to bear each other's differences.

    Many a times, these partners don't seem to have know each other quite well, they do not seem to be able to share their indifferences after wedding.

    A quite number of them plan wedding and not marriage. That is why you won't know he/she is infidel before marriage.

    On the other hand, some of them can as well know before marriage but they think they can cope or manage their partner until they finally realize like Baba Mide will say "no be moi-moi"

    Personally, I think everyone should be sure that they can cope with the seen and unseen differences before they opt in for marriage. No one should marry out of pity thinking they can manage their partner. It is better to end a bad relationship and be called a serial dater by your friends than to end a marriage. Divorce is never an option and like Mide said, always seek your parents advice or blessings before marriage.

    -Wande Boston

    1. Wande this is amazing! and I totally agree with you, people need to be really oriented on marriage before they go into it and come out immediately after. Thank you so much for reading and for commenting☺

  3. Nice piece. I wouldn't say marriage is overrated cause I haven't been there, but the thoughts of living with someone the rest of your life is scary, I cannot even stand a roommate -_-. Honestly not looking forward to it.

  4. Lol, this actually cracked me up,I agree with you that it could be scary but I'll say you should just try to keep an open mind and I pray that you'll find the one you'll be happy to spend the rest of your life with.
    Thanks for reading☺

  5. All I can say is marriage is scary and I don't think I can go through with it as well 😨😨😨😨

    1. Lol, Abby just relax, it'll be fine. Remember it wasn't created to be scary, i'm sure your better half is hanging around somewhere. When they eventually show, please be sure to drop me an inviteπŸ˜‰

  6. Trust me marriage scares the shit out of me. I mean I read ridiculous stories on the Internet. There's this page on IG, they share marital issues and someone had to ask them oneday if they only had bad stories to share. I almost doesn't want me to believe in love but when you meet two people who are in love you see how beautiful it is. Love love this post

    1. Heyy Tobi😊😊 thank you love, I think it's absolutely normal to be scared though because forever is sure a lonnng time, but like you said love is a beautiful thing. We just have to find someone worth taking the plunge with. Thanks for stopping by😚

  7. Wow! First of all big ups for this write up. Secondly, the points you have mentioned here is what I scream about everyday. Marriage isn't all roses and candy! There will be thorns too. Saying those vows on your wedding day means no matter what happens we are gonna go through it together. So when it comes to choosing who you settle with, you have to be watchful nd prayerful oh. Marriage is not beans. I love your posts btw

    1. Moyin love,thank you so much, means a lot. marriage is definitely not beans or moi-moi lol thanks for stopping by dear😚😚


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