GirlsChat Series 5 || Girlfriend Vs Wife Duties
I hope you all are doing great? Firstly let and say thank you for your participation in the Last Girls chat series and even for all the other ones as well, you guys are the best.
So today I have whipped up another interesting yet controversial topic and to be honest, I think I'm loving the "question and answer method". I asked a few ladies what they thought about the topic and they responded beautifully, you'll be seeing that In a bit.
So I was just sitting down when I started thinking about this topic. Now I believe that
Here's what some ladies had to say;
Ekene said "Please girlfriend duties are very different from wifely duties. People who perform wifely duties when they are mere girlfriends are either insecure, confused, or have high expectations from the guy. In the sense that they feel all their pretence or whatever would make the guy want to keep them or make the guy love them more."
Bukky said "Its very different.Those who do wifely duties tend to devalue themselves
There should be a boundary between girlfriend and wife, Its okay to show love and care and its okay to express yourself but let him look forward to marrying you."
Adeola Said "This is deep. Categorically speaking, there's nothing bad. Those girls, some feel that's how they can show themselves or prove their importance to the guys... But me, there are roles I can do as a gf and there are some I will never do till I become a wife. It then depends on the kinda role.The wifely role I've got no issue about a gf performing is the "cooking of food" But then the gf should do it moderately. It isn't bad to perform some wifely duties as a gf, but the kinda duty one performs is key--- imagine me cooking for his mum and at the end he won't put a ring on it🙆🙆"
Aisha said "Yes, i think there's a thin line between girlfriend duties and wifely duties
I think they're being too desperate. Or rather, the fear of losing/not pleasing him clouds their sense of judgment."
Tope said "Sure the duties of a wife is totally different from that of a girlfriend. A wife is obliged to take care of her husband's needs,
Make sure he is okay, take care of his sexual needs. A girl friend doesn't have to do all of this things because she isn't married to him."
Moyin said "If he hasn't put a ring on it there are certain things I don't think ladies should do, Some guys take these things for granted. Stuff like washing clothes is a NO."
Brilliant answers I tell you. Thank you ladies for taking time to respond😚
Here's what I think...
The roles and duties of a girlfriend are very different from that of a wife obviously. Some people think performing these wifely duties are stepping stones to actually becoming the wife. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that's a misconception.
We said in the Previous Girlschat series that guys love the "chase", now by going all the way to subject yourslef to these duties, it actually limits the Chase or don't you think so? You being all up in his face and space sucks away all the fun and "challenge" that is supposed to be there. From what I gathered, Guys don't like clingy ladies, even I don't like a clingy guy. Daniella talked about Cohabiting on one of the previous Girls chat series on her blog the other time and for me that's like the height of it all. I don't know about you but I certainly can't move in with a guy. Some people say it's to know him better and see how he really is. I've seen and heard of situations where in the process of trying to "know" who your man really is, the relationship ended because some ladies are running faster than their shadows.
He hasn't even engaged you and you have packed your load inside the house, you have started washing and ironing his clothes, cooking for him and all his friends on a daily basis, it doesn't even end there you're the one that will wash the dishes too, let's not forget the bathroom as well. I mean common woman! Where is the self worth?
Let's not forget that the only thing that will keep a man is if he wants to be kept, so no matter how sparkly you make his house, if he's not the one for you, he won't stay. Some of these guys eventually start taking your gesture for granted and then they start thinking that you're actually meant to do some of these things. Failure to do it then brings out the beast in them, they become abusive verbally and physically.They will now destroy your self esteem before they dump you. I know it's not the same for everybody but is it really worth it though?
I know some ladies will argue that its easier said than done. Please don't put yourself in that position in the first place because coming out is way harder than jumping in.
Another thing is that some ladies are very homely even to their female friends so doing all of these stuffs is not a big deal at all to them. Now this is a very good quality but you as a woman with dignity and worth will have to set boundaries of what you should and shouldn't do. Ain't nothing wrong with fixing him a meal if he's hungry but drag him to the kitchen and give him something to do, actually sensible guys will even offer to help instead of leaving you with all the work. By doing this, he's aware that this isn't a norm, it's just out of care and your love for him. Make him involved in whatever you want to do for him, and the days you decide to do it alone, you'll see how he'll appreciate you. It's a two-way thing people!
Don't let him be the one getting all the action, you need some living too😉.
So, Just relax and restrict yourself to the title you hold presently which is the girlfriend, when you get married you will do all the wifely duties till you can do them no more. I mean it's a forever thing right?
Over to You,
Do you think Girlfriends should perform Wifely duties? I would love to know your thoughts on this topic in the comment section.
P.s- On Danie's blog she's talking about Sexual Harrassment🙆 you don't want to miss it.