GirlsChat Series 4 || Should A Lady Ask A Guy Out?

Hello Beautiful Ladies!
How has the week been so far? Splendid I'm sure. I'm so sorry for missing last week's Girl's chat series, I was so unmotivated but this week we are back with a bang! Today's topic is one that excites me so much, mostly because there are so many theories on this and also because I was able to adopt Danie's method of asking questions and putting it on here.

So let's examine the question...

Should A Lady Ask A Guy Out?

After reading Amiethegrace's hilarious post about this particular topic (check Here for it ), I had to ask her if I could use it for a topic on the #Girl'schat series and she was cool with it! So here we are.

Personally I think this is a rather tricky question but I won't say anything until later in the post, I even have a little story to shareπŸ˜‰. Don't forget that if you have any questions or topics you want us to discuss, you can let me know in the comment section or send an email to

Having said that, let's see what some ladies had to say about this topic...

Zainab said "It depends on the surrounding situation, but it's better for the lady to clear her doubt by telling the guy so as for her nt to regret, perhaps the guy feels same... you know sometimes it better to let it out and give urself d benefit of doubt! but it's a really hard thing to do."
Lara said "It's awkward, No can't do it."
Tolu said "Truth be told, we are Africans and we too African for that sh**. Unlike the other part of the world yeah, there is nothing wrong with it, that's because that's their way of life and it's extremely different but here in Africa it's not same. Although some matured guys wouldn't mind but in the long run I doubt if they can ever take the babe serious"

Olamide said "It's not a big's 2016 Yo!"

Bola said "If she really likes the guy and he's not making the move then I think she should go for it."

Fikayo said "There's nothing wrong with it but i think ladies who do that have no shame...Well different strokes for different folks."
Omorinsayo Said "Its somehow to me, Probably because society has made it the status quo for the guy to do it but it's not a bad thing though, Its just weird because its not the usual thing, But people do it and it works out well."

Fisayo said "It depends, but to me it is wrong."

Chioma said "First it's not advisable, This is Nigeria. Before a girl can ask a guy out it depends on the kind of guy, how you met, how you communicate,there has to be a mutual connection between you both before you take a step.But I can't do it in this life it should be the other way round..."
Mojola said "A girl asking a guy out? No way! Its not even in the Bible...We just live in a dysfunctional society that some people don't see anything wrong with it, yes,crazy crazy world we live in now."
Aidee said "It's too awkward, instead of doing that, give him enough "green lights"."
Very hilarious answers I tell you, I had the laugh of my life yesterday while I was asking these lovely ladies. Thank you guys for taking time to answer😚😚

Some years back I liked a Guy and because we were very close and had an amazing rapport, I thought to myself " why not let him know?" Especially since he didn't seem to be getting them "green lights". Long story short, I told him but unknown to me he had this girlfriend that I thought he had ended things with so he just laughed and said to me "Deola if we're meant to be together, we will eventually..." In otherwords, I just went to embarrass myself...Let's just say I never got over anyone so fast the way I got over this guy. Now that may not count as asking out but as far as I'm concerned they're the same thing.
While doing my research for this post, I checked on Reddit and I saw that quite a number of guys were saying that Ladies need to start making the move because it's actually less-burdensome and refreshing. They also said that we need to drop the "equality when convenient" act, this one actually had me in stiches because it is kinda true.πŸ™Š remember "what a man can do, a woman can do better"? So why can't Ladies ask Guys out? That's their argument anyway.

Like Tolu and Chioma said, We are in Africa and In Nigeria for that matter! These boys ain't loyal like that! Before you say Jack Robinson, the whole nation knows your gist and you start trending on Twitter.

After much research, here's my two cents on this matter;

Do Not ask a guy out unless you have no other alternative. You're probably thinking I'm just bitter or something, but that's not it at all. Study has shown that as much as guys complain that girls like to form "hard to get", this is exactly what motivates them to keep chasing after the girl. During the "chase", they understand and discover those things that actually makes you special and why they really need you in their lives, hence all the numerous texts, calls,etc like someone that doesn't have any other Job. You cutting short the process by asking him out might take him by surprise and make him think you're probably not all that after all.

Drop Serious Hints Before You Make Any Move. This point makes me want to have a Sequel post on How to make moves and still retain your pride and class 😏 if you want a post on that, please let me know in the comment section 😌.
Another thing the guys on Reddit said is that they're most times very slow to hints when they are being dropped, mostly because ladies tend to throw some confused signals to them. You want a guy to ask you out and you're still making him feel like he's just a friend, how do you expect him not to be confused?  Ladies we need to be very precise when flashing this green light. However, when I say 'serious' I did not say you should be extremely flirtatious, touchy and clingy; that only spells out one thing-Desperation.

You really don't want to come off as desperate especially to a guy that you like and probably likes you back. If you like him and want him to stick around, you need to make him like you back before you even think of asking him out.
If he is not picking the hint after several attempts, and you're very sure he's not intentionally ignoring them or that he has a girlfriend, I mean you can then ask him out. I saw a tweet from a friend of mine and apparently she asked her boyfriend out and she says she doesn't regret it one bit because they're still waxing strong. So I guess it's like fikayo said "different strokes for different folks."

I will end with this, Do what you gotta do, but let nothing tamper with your self-esteem, worth, respect and that big crown on your head, We're Queens remember? πŸ’

So it's your turn...would you ask a guy out? I would love to know.

P.s- let's all head over to Danie's blog to see what she's got for us today.


  1. Me?? Ask a guy out?? Nope, Never!

    1. Haha Danie babyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ we see you!

  2. Some girls sha... Anyways, as stated, it really has to do with the country we are. However, that is not enough reason to not go for what you feel strongly for. Afterall, guys approach girls all the time and girls do not stop at simply saying no. SOme go as far as hurling insults at the guy. So, what is goose for the goose is good for the gander. If you approach him and he refuses, suck it up and move on. Try again later maybe... It's 2016 goddammit!!!


    1. Girl I love your vibe! "What's good for the goose is good for the gander" I really love that. Thanks Cherish.❤

  3. Yes Mide! Definitely do a post on how to drop serious hints and maintain your pride. Great post

    1. Hey Oyinlola, thanks for stopping by, I'll start working on it right away😊😊


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