Girls Chat Series 12 || How Do You Handle Being Led On?

Hey Queens!

How y'all doing? I hope your week has been fab so far? I must say that I have had quite a week! I actually said to myself today "I wish I was still serving" lol at least I had a little time for myself now that's just history. Okay enough with the whyning, let's get to the business of today.

To be honest, I had nothing planned for today's #Girlschat (yeah that's how bad it is) but then I watched Jenifa diaries! It's really amazing how you get inspiration from literally anything!

So on today's episode, Jenifa got the shock of her life when she learned that Marcus had a wife. In her own church mind she and Marcus were a thing, at least he wasn't wearing a wedding band and he took her out to dinner, bought her stuffs and even said he enjoyed their "relationship". Now after accusing him of leading her on, he said he did no such thing, apparently he was just being nice ain't no crime in that or is there any?
This brings us to the topic of tonight "being led on". I have thought really hard about the questions I want to ask about this topic (because I have a handful) but i cant really get the exact words I'm looking for. However I'll still write it in the best possible way that I can.

So here goes...

How do you differentiate when someone leads you on from when he is just being nice? Is there really a way to know?

Personally, I haven't been in this kind of situation but I have heard stories where people have gotten the wrong signals and everything just turns out embarrassing. Then later their brain will start working again and they'll realize that made a mistake by letting her go ( not in all cases though). I then start to wonder, why do you give the wrong signals and allow people to fall for you only to tell them "it was never like that", I mean that's just cruel.

To be fair though, some ladies sometimes get ahead of themselves. He hasn't even asked you out or made any serious attempts as regards dating you, he probably just threw in a casual gesture like grabbing lunch and you're already trying out his surname with your name.( haha...who else is guilty of this?) Sometimes they might even just want to find out more about your hot friend and try to be on your good side,  so you just actually have to be careful and read between the lines.
Now I know this is quite unrelated, but this is a way that some of us girls jump ahead of ourselves. While I was in camp, my platoon won the carnival and so we had this mini get together to celebrate and while some people were dancing, I was sitted and this guy walks up to me and sits beside me and he says hi and all the other pleasantries. He seemed like a really nice guy and so I eased up a bit. As we started talking, the girl in me had already started to think "just ask for the number already", to my utmost surprise/disappointment/relief, he actually just needed a friend. He was in a serious fix with his girlfriend and he needed someone to talk to. We talked for almost 2 hours and after we were done he thanked me for listening to him and that was it. As I was going to my hostel that night, I was just smiling at how stupidly I had jumped into conclusion but you know girls will be girls.

Now in the case of Jenifa, I thought to myself, why is it that Marcus never mentioned that he had a wife in all the time they had been meeting and going out? I mean is it really possible to forget the subject of your marital status like not even bringing it up just once if you didn't have an ulterior motive?

These days, I find myself consciously subduing every 'girly' thoughts of any guy that I'm getting fond of. He could probably just want directions, want to be a business partner or just be a friend. Of course you know that's never going to be easy but I think it's one way of not getting hurt.

Over to You...

Have you ever been led on? How did you handle it? Do you think there are ways we can draw the line in order not to get hurt? I would love to know your thoughts.

Thank you for reading till the end.

P.s- Let's see what Danie has for us today on her blog !



  1. Hey, i have never been led on but as for marcus and jenifa, marcus did not mention he was married to jenifa because he just wanted to use her to build his wife's empire. And it was easy for marcus to pretend to 'love' jenifer because he could spot she was quite despirate for love.

    1. Hey Phebe,yeah I agree with you about Jenifer being a little desperate which is why she jumped into conclusion. But that Marcus sefπŸ˜†
      Thanks for reading love 😚

  2. Hi mide! This is actually a good topic. For me have never been led on because I'm a "What do you want from me" kind of girl even after just exchanging numbers. I love to be straight forward in what ever relationship I want with a guy most times they say I'm boring which I don't really care. In jenifa and Marcus case, Marcus went to far, he used her, expensive dinner, a house, too much care and attention, to top it all FINE BOBO! lol. We all know 9ja men are not that nice na. So it was very easy for her to assume something was going on between them , her mistake was that she didn't ask him or talked to him about everything just to be sure if he was just being a nice guy.

    1. Baby Girl Leema ���� yeah Nigerian men are not loyal at all, I also agree that she should have talked to him before assuming they were an item. Thanks for stopping by love��

  3. Ive seen that episode of jenifa's diaries. Some people said it was an honest mistake on Marcus' side lol. Anyway, I've never been led on but I definitely think their are ways to draw the line in order not to get hurt. You don't just assume your position in someone's life. You should always ask your "partner" what you guys are doing so you don't get hurt over nothing. You don't just do wifey things for a man you're not even sure is your boyfriend.

    1. Well said! "You don't do wifey things for a man you're not even sure is your boyfriend" I absolutely love this.
      Thanks Tobi for always sharing you thoughtsπŸ’•

  4. Maybe I'm being led on now or its just my fantasy. A friend for one year is become my crush and now 5000miles away since I moved faraway. He's really nice and listens and advices and is a really good friend to me. What to do? #1stcrush#age17#whattodo??#adviceme

    1. Hello! Thanks for stopping by. I think you should give it just a little time, he might probably just be nice genuinely without anything attached. If you however still feel like you're been led on,then you should ask him the situation of things.I understand how this must be since it's your first crush but don't dwell on it, there will be tons of crushes laterπŸ˜‰πŸ˜šπŸ˜š just focus on other thingsπŸ’•


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