Girlschaseries 18 || 6 Life Lessons From "On Becoming" For All Women

Hey Lovelies!

Happy New month!

2016 is gradually coming to an end, can you believe it? I pray that we shall all see the end of this year and enter into the new year by his grace.

Welcome to another #Girlschat. Thank you for always keeping it a date with Danie and I, we really appreciate you guys.
Now to the business of the day. If you're in Nigeria, I'm sure you would heard that media personality, Toke Makinwa recently launched her Book "On Becoming", I never really expected to get my hands on it fast as I did but I'm glad I was able to read it.

"On Becoming" is one of those books that you read and you just want other people to know about it. For today's post, I decided to draw out a few lessons that I learned while reading. This book is what I call an awakening and honestly as girls/ladies/women, we need to stay woke! We owe ourselves that much.

Here goes..

1) Guard Your Heart Jealously: You know why? Because at the end if it goes south, they'll say you are at fault. Majority of us (if not all) are guilty of becoming the opposite of who we are normally when it comes to love. We will do anything to keep that one guy that has our heart, anything. Waking up from this kind of bad dream is never easy, in fact it requires divine intervention and a conscious decision that enough is enough. The other day, while I was talking to a "potential" (you'd have to read the book to get this😉) he said sometimes I put up walls and remove elements of care from anything I'm doing when it comes to him. I simply told him that I'm just being cautious, little did he know that I was also reading this book. At the expense of sounding like a total meanie, I can't afford to be caught off guard and eventually become hurt.

Like my friend said, a lot of women will "receive sense" after reading this book and I totally agree. This emotional roller coaster does great damage to us as it affects our careers, academics, spiritual life and even physically, all because of one person who is just there having the time of his life.
Guard your heart and guard it with everything you have.

2) Don't Settle: For some of us who are yet to be married, this is one advice we keep getting from family and friends. You notice an adverse behaviour in your partner and you feel like you can contain it without it blowing over, News flash: you can't!
Yes everybody has their own baggage, some greater than others but everybody also has a certain level of grace. So you have to match your baggage with your Grace. If you carry the one that is bigger than you, you'd have to deal with it alone because everyone else is busy fighting their own battles. It's always good to decide on what we want to do before it gets too late.

3) Let Go Of The Things You Cant Change: This is like the previous point. Letting go is very difficult but we all have to do it at some point and Let God, especially for things that we have no control over. Sometimes holding on does greater damage than letting go and we have to understand that whatever does not serve or grow us needs to go. Hope is good but when it's glaring that nothing good can come out of that situation, you need to move on. Have it at the back of your mind that not everything or everyone you lose is a loss and also that it's not okay to lose yourself at the expense of losing others.
YOU ARE A PRIORITY.

4) Don't Be So Quick To Judge: In this part of the world especially, everybody is so quick to attack and shame the next person just because you realize they have a 'flaw'. Truth is we all need a few flaws for us to be considered human. This is exactly what we need to get; we are all humans even celebrities and nobody is above scandals, mistakes,etc. Behind all that smile, there's a huge vacuum in some people's lives and just an act or a word of kindness will go a long way. I always say that as women, we need to learn the art of supporting each other rather than tear each other down.

5) The Purpose is Far Greater Than The Pain: A lot of women are going through similar or worse situations like Toke Makinwa. I won't be surprised if other women begin to speak up because of this book. I was speaking to some of my friends about this book and I realized that this kind of thing is not farfetched at all. It's happening right amongst us . Ours might not be for nine years like Toke but we've experienced it before. Personally, I had a little taste of it. I played second fiddle for a while before God opened my eyes to see that it was time to let go. For as many that are going through rough times in their relationships, I pray that God will give us the strength to let go and heal completely.

6) Pray Pray and Never Stop Praying: I read this book and I was literally afraid, apparently I wasn't the only one. I suddenly realized the importance of the prayer that my parents had been praying for me since I was in secondary school, that I won't get married to another woman's husband.
Truthfully, it's only when I remember that I will say a prayer for the future husband, it even became worse because I wasn't in any relationship, so I shifted my attention to other things. I was wrong. There's no such thing as 'too early' when it comes to praying for the future. Ask Toke she'll tell you.

The chapter 10 of this book is titled "The other woman" , but for some reason, it's 'empty'. I was even telling someone that I thought It was an error and she told me it's not, that there are a lot of words in that chapter but we just can't see it. After realizing it, I almost started crying because I now understood that no amount of words could describe how Toke felt about this other woman. Marriage is a very important aspect of our lives that we can't afford to treat casually. Even relationships have to committed to God whether or not you think you're going to end up with the person on not. So my lovelies Pray without Ceasing.

Over to You...

Have you read the book? What are your thoughts? I would love to know.

If you haven't read it and would like to, kindly drop your email address in the comment section and I'll send it to you.

P.s- Let's go over to Danie's blog and see what she has for us today.

Mide♡